everyone’s got their own daddies. obviously.
alhamdulillah, i consider myself very lucky to have been brought up with a father still around. today i went back home to my parents’ to take some fish-supply that my mother’d bought for me.
my mother would remind me always, to:
“meet your father as often as you can, since you’re staying nearby. make him feel delighted, and kiss him on the cheek while he’s still alive, soulful and moving, if you know what i mean”
it then struck me that my parents aren’t getting any younger. they’ve aged. in fact, they’re old. they’re basically senior citizens.
upon leaving the house, my brother accompanied me upstairs to my dad’s bedroom for me to bid him goodbye. i opened the door and saw him laying sideways on his bed in the dark, fast asleep, his glasses placed on his sidetable, and a newspaper still in the grasp of his left hand. i could then smell the very same scent i’d wake up to back when i was a three year-old girl.
back then, like it or not, he’d wake me up at four a.m every single day just to feed me a bottle of milk and he’d later on cradle me back to sleep- that was the exact scent i’d sniffed this evening as i opened his bedroom door.
“hmm, it’s okay abang. he’s sleeping, yana taknak kacau lah,” i whispered to my brother.
“eh it’s okay. just softly tap his shoulder, cakap ‘daddy, yana nak balik dah‘,” he said, convincingly.
see, when we were young, our father was extremely strict with us. he was exceptionally less strict with me though since he’d retired from work when i was a little girl, but still strict enough for me to feel scared of waking him up.
“okay,” i said as i slowly walked into the room. i then tapped his shoulder.
needed to call him a few times before he opened his genetically-acquired-sepet eyes.
“hm” he grunted.
“hi, yana singgah nak ambik ikan tadi, now yana nak balik dah, saja nak jumpa daddy dulu,” i said.
to my surprise, he raised one arm, nodded and said, “ok”.
wuish. wow. whoa. in that sleepy state he was in, he was expecting a hug.
unlike some other children with their daddies, growing up with him being strict with us (as we reached our teens), my siblings and i weren’t much of big-huggers with our dad. it’s a 1/20 occassion that we get to hug him and it’s not because we don’t want to, not because he didn’t want it, but because we were just.. shy.
so him raising one arm for a hug? it’s a rare occassion. a rare occassion that i’d like to see becoming something common.
without waiting any longer, i bent down to give him a big hug and planted a big kiss on his cheek as the optical lobe in my brain visually replayed my mother’s ‘kiss-daddy-on-the-cheek’ scenario over and over again.
upon leaving his room, i realized that i’m lucky enough to still have my father and mother around for me to talk to, for me to seek advice from, for me to still hug and kiss while they’re still physically and mentally aware of my existence.
while their souls are still in existence.
i’m aware that a lot of people have lost their parents. some have never met their father or mother, some aren’t on good terms, some don’t get to see one or both parent/s as often, while some others don’t even bother about their parents.
i only grew to understand the importance of appreciating what they’ve done for me in any way that i can while they’re still around, the moment i was married off. especially after seeing how much effort they put into making the marriage and wedding a success, how many hours of sleep they’ve missed to maintain a smile on our faces, how tired they work throughout their whole lives just for us to be successful enough for us to live by ourselves. i wouldn’t be able to thank them enough.
however your situation with your parents might be, i hope you’ll remember them always. if they’re still alive, spend time with them as much as you can. if they’re living far away, make your visit/their visit’s worthwhile. if they’re no longer around, still make du’aa for them every single prayer especially, and visit their graves as often as you can.
however horrible they might have treated you at any phase of your life, regardless of it being for your own good or not (out of abuse, to some), pray for them. especially your mother.
it’s also one of the cheatcodes for your one-way ticket to heaven, so unless they’ve attempted atrocious things to hurt you such as killing you or abuse you etc. (نعوذ بالله من ذلك), never neglect them in any way.
try it while you can. hug them. kiss them. smile. easy, kan.